Into the Light
by SunshineDaisiesWindmills
Summary: This is a story about a girl, the choices she made, and the people she loved. This is the story of how a girl and her best friend fell apart, and how a girl and a boy fell in love.
1. Prologue

There once were two boys.

They both had black hair, though that is where their physical similarities ended. One's hair stuck up in all directions, no matter how hard he tried to tame it. He was fair, though obviously spent a great deal of time in the sun. Glasses set upon a long-ish nose framed his sparkling hazel eyes, a crooked smile was marked with slightly crooked teeth, and there was a dimple on only one side of his face. He was tall and strong and obviously well cared for.

The other's hair was slick, eternally greasy. He looked as though he had never put a foot outdoors. He had dull black eyes, a huge, crooked nose, and his thin lips hardly ever broke into a smile. He was average height and skinny. He had obviously been taking care of himself for a long period of time.

The first had been blessed with all the graces of life. He was charming, talented, handsome, rich, and absolutely adored by his parents.

The second had to fight for everything. He was awkward, poor, and his parents left him alone only on the best of days.

They knew each other for seven years, and in those years they hated each other. Both stood for everything the other was opposed to. One thought his blood made him superior to others. (He would be proved wrong). He used whatever type of magic he wanted, no matter how dark it was, and would do anything to have his way. He was selfish, rude, and mean. He belonged to Slytherin and was accepted there.

The other thought he was invincible. (He too would be proved wrong). He knew what was right and what was wrong, though he often toed the line. At times he was selfish, rude, and mean, but he could also be incomparably kind, tolerant, and good. He was a Gryffindor, and became their hero.

One craved adventure.

The other craved power.

Both boys fell in love with a girl, and both would eventually die for her.

Both made life-altering decisions mindlessly. One used a single word to do so.

The other used two.

It seems impossible that these types of choices can be made with so little thought; yet it happens so frequently. Bridges are burned, power is granted, relationships are ruined, all in a split second. A few syllables can change the course of history.

Of course these choices are hardly ever the direct result of a split second decision. Rather, they are usually the product of a series of choices. A building up of events eventually culminating in a world changing moment. Generally, people will see this happening, and know that the time is coming. Sometimes, a person is blind to these events until after the moment has passed, and it's only then that they can look back and see how clear it was.

For example, it seemed inevitable to a teenage Severus Snape that eventually his best friend, Lily Evans would realize she was in love with him. She would notice how powerful he was, how he could create spells to bring grown men to their knees (or string them up by their ankles). She would finally see that there was nothing missing, she didn't need her sister, or her stupid mudblood friends. _He was right there. _And after all those years of waiting, she would know, just as he had known, and they could finally be together. She would let him hold her, touch her, kiss her, just as he had always dreamed, and everything would be beautiful.

To everyone else, however, it seemed obvious that the two best friends were drifting farther and farther apart. Severus grew more attracted to the Dark Arts, and Lily grew more repulsed by them. He picked friends who detested Lily, and whom Lily detested. Try as he might, anyone could see that he was trying to bridge an impossible gap. He floated in the middle for a while: on one side, the girl he loved; on the other, the power he so craved.

And then, one day, without really realizing it, Severus Snape chose his side. He let the dreaded, forbidden word slip from his lips, aimed at the one person who would ever care, and found that the bridge he had so carefully constructed was obliterated, and he was falling through the air, desperately reaching out for a ledge that was no longer there. Only when he had steadied himself could he see that the bridge he had been standing on was never really there at all.

These decisions, though seemingly insignificant at the time, often become so much more. It might seem irrelevant that Severus Snape called Lily Evans a mudblood on a bright summer day when he was sixteen, but the repercussions of that moment would follow them both for their rest of their lives.

There once was a girl.

She was beautiful, with dark red hair, bright green eyes, and a smile as bright as the sun. Her skin was fair and dotted adorably with freckles. She was charming and bright and adored by almost everyone who knew her.

She firmly believed that every human was of equal worth; no matter their wealth or status of birth. She did her best treat everyone as she would have liked to be treated, but she was not afraid to stand up for herself or those she cared about.

She felt deeply, smiled widely, cried freely, fought fiercely, and loved enough to save the world.

She fell in love with a boy, and would die protecting the son she had with him.

She thought at least briefly about all of her decisions (except one), and in six words, would change her life.

This is a story about that girl, the choices she made, and the people she loved. This is the story of how a girl and her best friend fell apart, and how a girl and a boy fell in love. She did not make all the right choices, and in fact made many wrong ones. She broke hearts and asked for forgiveness many, many, times. She was human, and flawed as humans always are.

One day, she made a choice without thinking, and somehow saved the world.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, this is the start to my new story. I meant to actually write the whole thing before publishing... but I'm impatient so here you go! I'm not sure when I'll post the first chapter, hopefully it'll be within a couple weeks. I hope you enjoy the prologue, I know it doesn't hint much at what's to come, but we'll pretty much jump in with the next one. Please let me know what you think! :)<strong>


	2. Descent

**AN: Okay so this is like, the fifth time I've uploaded this story, and I'm pretty sure it's finally the way I intended it to be seen, with none of the silly typos my word processor made because I had the "Track Changes" feature on. It was extremely frustrating, and very embarrassing. Thank you to everyone who pointed out the mistakes, and to everyone else who read through this and went on anyway! I'm pasting in the original Author's Note, though it's kind of unnecessary anymore. Someday I might enjoy it for old times sake.**

**AN: So I've decided to start again with this. I'm fickle, what can I say? If you haven't read the prologue in a while, I suggest reading over it again, just for a refresher. It's not super important or anything, but you know.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

* * *

><p>One could argue that this story began on a bright summer's day in 1976, with a slip of the tongue and the end of a friendship. Objectively, this argument is correct. The events unfolding in this story were, in fact, initiated on that day; however, this story does not focus on that particular event. Instead, it focuses on the repercussions of it, which did not begin until several months later.<p>

Halloween, 1976 found the sixteen-year-old Lily Evans hurrying through the gloomy corridors of Hogwarts castle. Oh, she was late. The corridors were already empty, the students having filed into their classrooms a few moments ago. The bell had sounded and all the classes had begun. She was very late, and still had two rights, a left and a stair case that hopefully had not changed to get there. She couldn't say she minded, the length of the trip gave her time to compose herself. She walked briskly, but not quite fast enough to empty her of breath. That was good, she needed that.

She inhaled deeply as she walked, and with every breath, it seemed as though the air pushed her emotions backward, the tears away from her eyes. She was late, yes, but at least she wouldn't walk into class looking like a wreck. No one would ever guess something was wrong, no one would ask her what had happened. She could forget the entire mess and move on with her life.

"Lily!" a familiar voice called from behind her, footsteps were jogging to catch up with her.

She turned around to wait for her companion, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw not who she had been talking to earlier, but her boyfriend, Oliver Finch, seventh year student and proud member of Ravenclaw house. "Hello, dear," she smiled as he got closer, "Do you need something? I'm late for class, you see."

"Where have you been?" he slowed to a walk when there were only a few feet between them. "I've been looking for you since lunch."

"Sorry," she swallowed, "I was," having her heart ripped out _again_, but he mustn't know that, "a bit distracted."

"Right well, I need to talk to you," His voice was serious, his face straight.

"Can't it wait? I really am late for class,"

"No," he shook his head, "it can't." Lily swallowed hard. Oliver continued, "Listen, Lily," he reached out and grabbed both of her hands, holding them tenderly. "You know I care about you."

Oh dear. Was this really happening now? He was breaking up with her! That's what this was. He couldn't wait another hour to do it? Really? She forced out a smile, "Of course I do."

He continued, "But lately, I'm just- I'm not feeling the same way I used to." She nodded her head in understanding. "And I don't think it's fair to continue this relationship if we're not both feeling the same way, you know?"

"Yes," she forced back a sob with an even bigger smile, "Of course."

"I'm sorry, but-"

"No need for apologies," she said, "but I really do have class so…"

"Right!" he smiled, the winning smile that had so often charmed her and so often drove her insane. He turned and walked away.

As Lily continued her trip to class, she could no longer stop the tears from falling. She shouldn't be upset about the break-up; she had been planning to do it anyway. She should feel relieved, but, she reasoned, being the dumpee never felt _good._ Especially not now.

She let the tears flow down her face as she walked down the corridor, turned the left and found that the staircase she was meant to take had, in fact, changed. She moaned in exasperation, and continued up the wrong staircase, down another, and back up again, until she found herself on the correct landing. She made it to the door, and looked down at her watch. Ten minutes late. Lovely. She wiped the tears from her face, took several deep breaths, put on a smile and entered.

"Evans!" Professor Zimmermann roared. He was an extremely tall man with red hair, comically small ears and a touch of a beard. Almost always in a good mood, he did not seem annoyed at all by her late arrival. "Nice of you to join us!"

"Sorry, Professor," she said quietly. He nodded, and she took that as her cue to find her seat. She scanned the rows quickly and it did not take long for her to find her usual partner, a rather large black boy with an afro and brow line glasses. "Hello, Benjy."

He gave her a small smile as Zimmermann went back to his lecture. Without being asked, he slid over his parchment of notes for her to copy. She jotted them down and slid them back as quickly as possible.

She tried as hard as possible to concentrate, but it proved difficult as every single one of her roommates was glaring at her, demanding her attention, wanting to inquire after her tardiness. She could avoid the question for now, but inevitably, she would have to answer.

Usually Professor Zimmermann's lectures were extremely entertaining, he made learning easy, but today it seemed to fall flat. She had difficulty listening, when usually she was captivated by his words. She wasn't sure if it was her or the lecture.

Five minutes of feigning attention later, something hit her in the back of the head. She reached back and grasped a crumpled up piece of parchment. She turned around, and found, of course, James Potter smirking at her. Git.

"Open it," he mouthed at her, while miming the action. She ignored him, tossing the parchment to the ground. He tossed another. She ignored it. And another and another, and another, every time Zimmermann turned around. She ignored them all. But they were coming a bit too quickly for her comfort, she turned saw that Sirius had joined James in the abuse.

She glared at them, and Sirius hurled another, but he did not have the arm James did, and Lily had the advantage of sight. She dodged it, and instead of hitting her, as he had planned, it flew past her and into the head of the Hufflepuff sitting in front of her. Lily looked horrified, Sirius looked away innocently, and James could not stifle a laugh. The Hufflepuff turned around, and threw one back at them. James and Sirius dodged and it hit Peter Pettigrew in the face. He, of course, retaliated, missed his mark, and before anyone really knew what has happening, a full blown war was underway.

Professor Zimmermann turned around just in time to be hit directly in the face, and was so shocked, and slightly amused, that he allowed it to continue for a few moments. After he had taken in the situation, assessed it and determined it should not continue, he pulled out his wand, and with a spell Lily did not recognize, created a tremendous _BANG_!

"What in _Merlin's name _is going on here?" he shouted.

The entire class looked at him innocently. Zimmermann stared them down until finally, The Hufflepuff broke. "Black threw a paper wad at me, so I retaliated and hit Peter instead and it just kind of… happened."

Zimmermann's eyes narrowed at the class, "Alright everybody up!" he yelled, "Off to the sides! You're all getting assigned seats." The entire class began to protest, shouts of anger echoed throughout the room. "Should've thought about that before you started an all out war in my classroom!" The class groaned, but Zimmermann began assigning seats immediately anyway. "Black and Fenwick, here!" He pointed to the front table, and Sirius and Benjy moved accordingly. He began filing in the rest of the students, keeping them to their houses, but alternating between tables "Bennett! Lupin!" Roxanne, a tall, slim girl with long dark, curly hair joined Remus. "MacDonald! Pettigrew!" A short girl with a dark bob sat down next to Peter. For once today, everything seemed to be going in Lily's favor. Only two of her roommates were left, and Lily could not find a problem with being paired with either of them.

"Hadley!" Stella, a blonde, curvy girl of average height scurried off to where Zimmermann pointed her. And Lily. It had to be her. "Rose!" and Meg, short, with light brown wavy hair, followed her. But that left…

"Evans! Potter!"

"Of course," she muttered under her breath, "But, Professor!" she whined, "I don't really see how this is fair. Why should _I_ be punished for what _he_ did?"

"Well, I believe it was actually Black that started it, but you'll notice the whole class has been punished, so I don't really see how it's _not _fair." She groaned and grudgingly took her seat.

Not two minutes later, Potter passed her a note.

_What's up?_

She glared at him in response.

_No, really. You look upset._

She ignored him. Of course she looked upset! What else did he expect?

She sat the rest of class cursing her luck. When the bell finally rang, she ignored his "Evans, I-" because whatever he had to say was probably not worth hearing.

"Lily!" a loud, feminine voice yelled out from the crowded corridor, Meg, most likely. Lily had stormed off after class, and of course they would all be dying to confront her, but Lily wasted no time. She had a free hour, and wanted to get back to her dorm as quickly as possible.

She turned, and sure enough, Meg and Mary were approaching her, their small frames fighting against the crowd. Their dark heads weaving amid the swarm of students.

"Hullo," she greeted them. Rather than stopping, she turned and walked with them toward Gryffindor Tower.

"What's going on?" Meg asked her.

"Nothing," Lily responded, just a little too quickly.

"Well, obviously something's bothering you." Mary added.

"I'm just having a rough day," she sighed. The two girls wrapped an arm each around their friend, and together they made their way to the dormitory.

Lily did not elaborate during their free period, and thankfully Meg and Mary did not push it. On a normal day she might have, but normal days were not this upsetting. Instead, Lily sat quietly working while the other two chatted aimlessly away.

"So we're supposed to beat Slytherin by a landslide next month," Meg mentioned after a few moments. "And I've been practicing these new moves over the summer,"

"Right," Mary responded, "The ones you showed me while I was at your house?"

"Exactly, they were brill, right? And I've kept working on them in practice."

"Really, you should have seen them, Lily. They were great."

Lily nodded vaguely, not amused by the conversation at hand. She was simply not in the mood for quidditch conversation, or for Meg's boasting.

"And Potter won't let me use any of them!" Was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Lily began packing up her things, "I have a bit of a headache," she explained, "I think I'm going to have a lie down." She threw her bag over her shoulder and walked toward the spiral staircase leading to her dormitory.

"What's gotten into her?" Meg asked when she thought Lily was out of earshot. She paused on the stairs to listen.

"Bad mood, I guess," Mary replied.

"It's so unlike her."

Lily closed her eyes and exhaled violently before climbing the rest of the stairs. Looking on the bright side, Lily figured that this day could not possibly get any worse. Par for the course, she was wrong.

* * *

><p>Despite her gut instinct, Lily dragged herself to her final class of the day. Transfiguration had never been her greatest subject, and according to McGonagall, the topics covered today would <em>surely<em> be on their N.E.W.T.s and was even surer to be exceptionally challenging. So, despite every bone and piece of fragmented heart in her complaining, she dragged herself down the stairs, luckily avoiding Meg and Mary, and made her way to the unfortunately filled classroom.

Class had not started yet; and just as Lily had both dreaded and expected, her roommates (sans Meg, who had dropped the class after O.W.L.s) were gathered around her usual desk. Mary was sitting in her usual spot, looking up to talk to two much taller girls. Stella Hadley stood with one hand on her hip as she seemingly offered an opinion to her comrade, Roxanne Bennett. Roxanne stood several inches taller than Stella, and was much slimmer.

Lily approached the table cautiously, bracing herself. As she reached earshot, she heard one of them mutter "Poor girl." But, what was there to pity? They couldn't know. They couldn't possibly know…

"Hullo," she greeted them as cheerfully as she could muster.

"Lily, dear," Roxanne turned to her, "We've just heard about Oliver," Oliver! Of course, Oliver. Her now ex-boyfriend.

"We're really sorry," Stella mentioned, "It was perfectly dreadful of him to do it like that."

"And of course you know we'll be there for you if you need us," Roxanne added.

"Right, thank you," she smiled, "but I think I'll be fine."

"Take your seat, class!" McGonagall's stern voice echoed throughout the room as she strode through the room toward her desk. The student's obliged, and presently, McGonagall began the day's lesson.

"How'd they find out?" Lily whispered to Mary. She kept her eyes forward, careful not to miss any important details of a lesson that was already proving to be as difficult as promised.

"Apparently, he's already snogging some other bird."

"Really?" Lily swallowed hard. "Well that's just wonderful."

"Rather a good thing, if you ask me. You get rid of him, and he takes the blame for it."

Lily shrugged, "I guess." Mary did not respond. The pair diligently took notes until a small piece of paper flitted to her desk.

She looked around briefly, and found once again that Potter was trying to catch her attention. He mouthed for her to open it, and praying not to relive the earlier fiasco in Defense, she followed his instruction.

_I'll hex him if you want. _

She sighed, and her entire body seemed to move with it. Did the entire school know already? She turned in her seat, met Potter's eagerly awaiting gaze, and solemnly shook her head.

He raised his eyebrows, questioning her.

She narrowed her gaze, answering.

"Miss Evans!" McGonagall had paused her lecture, Lily immediately returned to her forward facing position, "Is there something more interesting about Mr. Potter than what I have to teach you?"

"No, Professor," Lily responded, "Not at all."

"Then kindly pay attention!"

"Yes, Professor."

Lily closed her eyes in fatigue. Perhaps she should have listened to her gut.

* * *

><p>"So," Stella asked the moment they stepped into the portrait hole, "What happened?"<p>

"What?" Lily responded.

"With Oliver," Roxanne jumped in, "We know he ditched you, but what happened?"

"He ditched me," she said simply.

"Yes, but the _how? _is what we're really interested in."

"He said 'I don't feel the way I used to, so we should probably get on with our lives.'"

"Did he really?" Stella was obviously appalled, "That's just rude."

"Well he was a bit more eloquent, but that was the gist of it," Lily explained, "But I'm really actually okay with it, so I'm going to get started on my homework, if you don't mind."

"You don't want to complain about what an arse he is?" Roxanne was skeptical.

"Not really," Lily snapped. Oliver was an arse, of course, but he was currently near the bottom of that list.

"She obviously doesn't want to talk about it," Mary interjected.

"Thank you, Mary."

"We're only trying to help." Stella looked rather put out.

"But I don't _need_ help, I'm fine. Really." She turned and once again began to make her way up the stairs.

"Let her alone," Mary warned them while Lily was still on the stairs, "she's been acting strangely all day."

When she reached the top, Lily climbed into bed and pulled the curtain tight around her.

Not five minutes had passed before the door opened again and someone entered. Lily closed her eyes tightly and hoped they would ignore her, but as the day went, her hopes her in vain.

"Lily?" Mary's voice spoke softly.

She took a deep breath, "Yes?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'd rather not," she spoke sharply.

"Well, if you don't want to talk to me or the others, that's fine, but I think you should talk to _someone_."

"I'm fine," she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly.

"You're not _acting_ fine. And I know you don't want to talk to us for whatever reason, so maybe you should go find Edric or something."

"Yeah," she said softly. She rested her chin on her knees, "Maybe I should."

* * *

><p>Her gut would have had her skip dinner. Her friends on the other hand, decided that it was a very good idea for her to go. She needed to get out, have a bit of fun, show that arse Oliver Finch that the break up was having absolutely no effect on her. It wasn't actually, but by the time the feast was over, everyone believed it was, including Oliver.<p>

Including who was really affecting her.

She sat at Gryffindor table indignantly, hardly even enjoying the splendor of food before her. She cut her meat violently, chewed forcefully, and glared angrily the entire time.

The fun she was meant to have had been lost somewhere in the Entrance Hall where she had seen Oliver snogging Georgia Tait, and had permanently vanished when she saw _him_ staring at her. As if looking pitiful would change her mind. Any remaining sentiment of joy was erased when both Oliver and Georgia began sprouting giant green boils upon their entering the Great Hall. Anger set in about the time that Potter hollered down the table, "Evans! Feeling better now?"

She hadn't responded.

He hadn't been bothered.

When the feast was finally, blessedly, over and Lily was allowed to leave, he followed her. "Oi! Evans!" He yelled to her on the staircase. She ignored him and continued walking, but his legs were much longer, and he caught up to her without much effort. He reached out and grabbed her wrist when he reached her. "Hey," he said, "Feeling better?"

"I told you no," she responded immediately.

"When?" he knit his brow in confusion, "I think I missed that."

"I told you _not_ to hex him!" She clarified. She tore his wrist from his grasp. "What would possess you to do it anyway?"

"I thought it might-"

"Fix things? Make them all better for me?" She gave him a fake smile. "By doing what I _specifically told you not to do?_"

"I was trying to be _nice." _He responded, anger etched in his voice.

"Well stop!" Lily shouted, "Stop trying to be nice to me! I don't want you to! I don't want you to try and fix things that you think are wrong, because, in case you haven't noticed, you usually only fuck them up even more."

"What do you want then, Evans? Would you like me to hate you? I don't get to- You know what? Fine. I'll never do another nice thing for you," he turned on his toe and stormed off.

"That may be the nicest thing you ever do!" Lily shouted after him.

And then, she was furious.

* * *

><p>She hated him.<p>

She hated him, she hated him, she hated him. She wasn't exactly sure which him she was even referring to at this point, but it didn't matter. She hated all the hims.

She hated that prat Oliver Finch for ditching her before she got the chance to ditch him.

She hated Potter because he was a stupid git.

She hated Black for being loud and disruptive.

She hated Lupin for being friends with them.

She hated Professor Zimmermann for making her sit next to Potter.

She hated Potter even more because he kept trying to be nice to her.

She hated Edric- well, no, she didn't hate Edric, because it was practically impossible to hate Edric, but he was a boy, and therefore a him, and he was not performing his best friend-ly duties and therefore she hated him.

She hated Severus for ruining everything, and what was worse, thinking he could ever possibly fix it. As if what had happened last year was just a terrible nightmare.

She should have stayed in bed this morning, she mused as she stormed through the corridors. If she had only stayed in bed this morning everything would have been fine. Severus could never have approached her and she could have ditched Oliver tomorrow like she was planning to and Potter wouldn't have tried to be nice to her and actually make her miserable in the process. In her bed, she could have had a day full of lovely dreams in which she pranced around in a meadow while the sun beat down on her. But school was more important than dreams, so she had gone.

Her hair flew out behind her as she cut through the stale air. She hoped that she looked intimidating like this, because she could _not_ possibly deal with any other disruptions. She needed her best friends and she needed them now. She made it to the library, threw the door open and cut through the room. She knew where she would find them, they were always there.

And as expected, in a corner near a window sat a handsome boy with dark blond hair neatly parted to the side, across from a girl with a mess of blonde curls piled atop her head. The pair of seventh years shared a table covered in books, no doubt covering something to appear on their N.E. . She moved swiftly to them, pulled out a chair and sat down with a huff.

The boy, Edric Smethwyk, turned to her, "Having a rough day, Lily?" He smiled pleasantly as he spoke which surprisingly did nothing to calm her.

"That would be a most severe understatement," her arms were crossed over her chest and she was slouched down so far in her seat it seemed she might slide out of it.

"We heard you and Oliver broke up," the girl, Eliza Crawford, said. "His boils were still there when he walked into Ravenclaw Tower;" she giggled a little, "Pompfrey couldn't seem to get rid of them."

"Georgia's too, she came in and went straight to the hall to her dorm. She tried covering her face, but we could tell."

"Great," Lily rolled her eyes.

"So, it wasn't you?" Eliza asked.

"I told you!" Edric scolded her, "I told you Lily wouldn't do that."

"Well who did it then?"

"Potter," she spat. "I'll have to tell him to undo it now, which means I have to talk to him again. Fantastic."

"You could just leave it," Edric shrugged, "You had nothing to do with it."

"He did it for me though, so I sort of did."

"Did you _ask_ him to do it?" Eliza raised her eyebrows.

"No, I specifically asked him _not_ to do anything, actually, but that doesn't make it fair to Oliver and Georgia. They didn't do anything wrong."

"You seem more upset about the hexing than the break up," Edric observed.

"That sounds about right," Lily nodded, her voice tinged with annoyance, "but I'm not exactly thrilled about either of them."

Eliza looked at her curiously, her brows furrowed together behind her horn-rimmed glasses. "What happened?" she asked after a moment.

"Everything that I ever complain about."

Eliza cringed. Suddenly, every emotion that Lily had pushed back throughout the day came flooding forward. Tears welled in her eyes and she choked back a sob.

"What's the matter?" Edric asked, a bit frantic.

"Everything," she gasped.

Edric pulled out a handkerchief, lined with yellow and black for his house, and handed it to her. She dabbed the tears away from her face, hoping that her mascara wasn't running too badly.

She sniffed loudly, "I just want him to leave me alone," it came out as a whisper.

"Oliver?" Edric asked. Lily shook her head.

"Potter?" Eliza guessed. Lily shook her head again.

"Then…" Edric's gray eyes met Eliza's brown ones as the realization hit them.

"So this is about-"

"_Snape?_" Edric finished.

Lily nodded her head. "He tried to apologize to me again today. I just don't understand… He called me a _mudblood_, how could he… how am I supposed to forgive that? Am I just to pretend it never happened?" her voice was cracking again, and she was thankful for the handkerchief as tears continued to fall. "And those friends of his! Does he honestly think I can put up with them? I _hate_ them; I hate everything they stand for."

"Lily, no one expects you to forgive him," Eliza attempted to soothe her.

"He does."

"Well he's a bloody idiot," Edric commented, "He called you the most vulgar name on the planet, isn't that proof enough?"

"I wish he hadn't," she said softly.

"Us too," Eliza replied.

There was silence for a moment, until Edric spoke again, "But he did. You can't change the past, Lily; it's time to accept it."

Lily nodded, "I know, I just- I wish he'd leave me alone," she repeated.

"I'm not sure he'll ever give up on you, Lily," Eliza set a comforting hand on top of her friend's.

"But I can hex him if you'd like," Edric offered. It was in jest, she knew, but if she wanted, he would do it.

She shook her head, "No, no of course not." She looked down and muttered, "He gets enough of that from Potter and Black."

"And he gets them back," Eliza reminded her. "They're always at each other's throats."

"They hate each other. It's mutual." Edric nodded, "You can't blame yourself for that."

Lily sat looking down toward her lap, holding the handkerchief tenderly and still sniffing softly.

"You know," Edric mused, "Sometimes I think Snape might be in love with Potter, the way he acts toward him. No one upsets him more."

"I think you might be on to something, Ed," Eliza added, "I think they're secretly dating each other, and to disguise their obvious love affair they pretend to hate each other."

Lily couldn't help but giggle. She spent the rest of the evening uncovering the secrets of the relationship between Potter and Snape, laughing all the time, and trying to put the misery of the day behind her.

* * *

><p>When night had set in, Lily sat in the Gryffindor common room finishing the homework she had neglected earlier in the day. There wasn't much to finish, a few reading assignments due for the next day, and a bit of writing, but nothing she couldn't handle, despite the late hour. Most of the other students had gone to bed, so the room was quiet save for the soft crackle of the dying fire.<p>

She heard soft footsteps behind her and assumed they would ignore her before they stopped at her table, pulled out a chair and sat down next to her.

"Evans," the bespectacled boy beside her called her to attention.

"What do you want, Potter?" she did not attempt to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"To apologize," he said simply. She was stunned into silence, "It was probably a shit thing for me to do, hexing them when I knew you would hate it, so I'm sorry. I'll fix it tomorrow."

"I-I…Thank you."

He nodded curtly and began walking away. Lily sat stunned for a moment, blinking slowly. His footsteps made it halfway across the room before pausing.

"Did you mean it?" he asked, he took her silence as an invitation to clarify, "Do I really fuck your life up so much?"

She took a deep breath, thinking. "No," she said after a while, "no, I don't suppose you've ruined anything." She turned to find him facing her, he had moved a bit closer, but remained a safe distance away.

"So why do you hate me?" he asked, "I can't seem to find a reason."

She swallowed, "There's not one. Not anymore anyway."

"But you still hate me."

"No," she was surprised by her own honesty, "I don't." She didn't. She didn't hate him. Once upon a time she had. She had blamed him for everything, but it wasn't his fault. It couldn't be. She didn't _like_ him for a magnitude of reasons, but she certainly didn't _hate_ him any longer.

"Okay then," he said before turning on his heel to once again make his way into the shadows toward staircase.

No, she didn't hate him. She hated someone else now. Someone who Potter hated just as much.

"James," she called.

He turned from the first step; she could hardly see his face through the shadows, "Yeah?"

"I think we should be friends," the words ran from her mouth before she could stop them. Before she could realize how terrible this idea was, how many ways it could fail.

"Do you?"

"Yes," she gave him a small smile, "I think we could, and it'd make everything easier, wouldn't it?"

A voice in the back of her head was telling her to stop, that this was terrible in every way, but a larger, angrier part was only thinking of how good this would feel.

"I suppose."

"So, friends then?"

She could still stop it. Tell him that it wasn't a good idea because their personalities were too different, they didn't get along, they fought too much. In the fireplace, the last of the embers extinguished itself.

"Yeah," he smiled, "Friends."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please, please leave me a review! I absolutely love knowing what you think, even if you think it's not so great. Feedback is the best way to improve, after all, and I'm always trying to do that :)<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. A Pause

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.**

* * *

><p>Lily awoke the next morning in a much better mood than the previous day. The weather was far from glorious; the sun was obscured with gray clouds and an icy rain was falling outside. She removed herself from the warmth of her bed, looked out the window and smiled. Today was going to be a good day.<p>

A great day, really. She no longer had an obnoxious boyfriend to break up with and soon, Severus would be too angry to ever speak with her again. It couldn't take long. Perhaps Potter would even begin listening to her, which was sure to make him at least marginally less irritating. She did actually have to _talk_ to Potter now, but she didn't mind much. It was a small price to pay for freedom.

"Lily," Meg's voice snapped her from her reverie, "You'd better get ready, or you'll miss breakfast."

"Who's in the bathroom?" she asked, praying she would actually be able to get the chance to use it.

"Mary, but she won't be too long."

"Where are Roxanne and Stella?"

"They went down already. I think some bloke one of them fancies eats early…"

Hallelujah. Mary walked in from the bathroom, dark hair clinging to her and sending small rivers of water down her neck. A fluffy white towel was securely wrapped under her arms. "Would you like us to wait for you?" She asked as she made her way to her trunk.

"Nah," she said, "I'll meet you down there," They muttered an agreement as the door clicked shut behind her. Thirty minutes later, Lily emerged feeling fresh and clean, dressed herself and made her way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

She was the last of her housemates to arrive, the rest of her class had already begun, and most were involved in conversation. Meg had situated herself next to Potter and across from Benjy; the three no doubt discussing Quidditch in some variety. Mary sat next to Meg with Roxanne on the other side, Stella across from Roxanne. Sirius sat on the other side of James, across from Remus, who sat next to Peter. It was not an unusual arrangement, the sixth year Gryffindors to sit grouped together. Lily took the expected seat between Benjy and Roxanne.

"Alright Evans?" Potter asked the moment she sat down.

"Oh yes," she replied. She helped herself to a piece of toast, "Would you pass the marmalade, please?" She spread it generously, ignoring the strange looks of everyone else at the table.

"So we were just discussing the match next week," Potter continued, "Meg's trying to convince me to let her use these ridiculous moves…"

"They are not ridiculous!" Meg countered.

"Right, it makes perfect sense to spend time practicing moves you probably won't even have the opportunity to use."

"So you're saying that seekers shouldn't practice anything but catching the snitch?" Lily asked.

"Basically, yes," Both Meg and Lily looked extremely offended, "Because that's the most important thing for them to do."

"Well yes, but…"

And the discussion continued until the warning bell chimed, and the group was split, some moving on to potions and the rest headed to the library to study. Not many had chosen to continue with the class, so the group consisted only of Lily, Mary, Roxanne, Benjy and James.

The boys dragged behind, Benjy had made some point or other on the seeker's importance and James had felt the need to comment on it.

Roxanne and Mary took this opportunity to usher Lily out of the Great Hall and interrogate her.

"What was _that_?" Mary demanded.

"I was having a conversation about Quidditch," Lily responded.

"But with _Potter_?" Roxanne raised an eyebrow, "Weren't you just complaining about him yesterday?"

Lily brought her hand to her chin, "Was I?" Mary and Roxanne nodded their heads, "Huh. Well I changed my mind."

"When?" Mary's brows were furrowed together.

"Last night."

"_What_?" They chimed in unison.

"Well we're kind of stuck together, aren't we? In Defense and being in the same house and all… So what's the use in fighting?"

"Well you've been at it for quite a while…"

"I've had an epiphany. Rather a bright idea, I think."

"Seems a little dim to me…" Mary muttered under her breath. Lily pretended not to hear.

They arrived at the classroom and moved to their usual spots. The class consisted of very few students, so the tables were arranged in a square around the edges of the room, with space in the center which allowed Slughorn to observe each potion without breathing down his students' necks. Lily suspected it was a bid at house unity, but Gryffindors and Slytherins stuck to their own sides, and Slughorn did not enforce the policy. Roxanne sat closest to Slughorn, Lily sat near the center of the room, and Mary wedged between them. A few Slytherins had entered and took their seats, glaring at the Gryffindors as they set out their supplies. The Gryffindors, in turn, glared back. Slughorn had stepped into his office for supplies of some sort, so there was no one to diffuse the tension. It remained eerily quiet until a few moments later, when Benjy and James finally entered, still discussing Quidditch.

They took seats on the Gryffindor side of the room. James, rather than taking his usual seat at the far end of the room, sat next to Lily. "Miss anything exciting?" he whispered to her as he reached into his bag for his textbook.

"Oh, just glaring, you know, the usual…" she responded quietly.

"Any hexes thrown yet?"

"No."

"The day is young," he responded, shrugging.

Lily rolled her eyes, and forced out a smile.

Slughorn entered, silencing the pair and putting an end to any violent thoughts passing thorough the students. He set down the gathered supplies, greeted the students (most of who had arrived already) with great cheer, and turned to begin writing instructions on the board. A few more students filed in, and a minute later the bell chimed. He faced his students again to officially begin the class. Lily couldn't help put notice that the seat directly across from her remained unoccupied.

"Well today we'll be working on the Hiccoughing Solution! You'll find the directions on page-" he was interrupted by the _bang _of a door flying open and a student rushing in muttering, "Terribly sorry, professor!"

"Not a problem, Severus," The tardy student was already shifting through his bag searching for his book as he made his way to his seat, directly across from Lily. Slughorn continued to explain the process as Snape arranged his things, fortunately too distracted to notice the scene directly in front of him. Lily focused intently on the professor, purposefully ignoring the new presence in the room. "You may begin!" Slughorn announced, and the entire class shuffled into motion.

Lily knew immediately when Snape had noticed the Gryffindors' new seating arrangement. She could feel his eyes on her, burning holes right through her. She did her best to ignore it, concentrating a little too hard on which ingredients she needed. And then they were gone, but she was certain they had only moved next to her.

This was wrong. He shouldn't be receiving this particular glare. Snape saved a multitude of dirty looks especially for James Potter, but _this_ one—the worst of them all—was meant for her. It was made of childhood memories and shared experiences and mutual betrayals. It wasn't fair for him to deal with it, to experience it at all. She was doing this to him, subjecting him to a new brand of torture and hatred from his worst enemy. She had intentionally put him in the way of this. He had not asked for or offered this, it was entirely her doing. It was wrong. She knew it was wrong.

But that look in Sev's face, the fact that he was now alternating between the two of them, this was getting to him. They were only sitting next to each other, and Sev was already about to blow his top. He was angry, furious even. And Lily couldn't help but feel a little happy about it. He deserved to feel that way. She wanted him to be angry with her.

"James," she said pleasantly, ignoring the boy across from her and turning to the one next to her, "Would you mind helping me cut this up? I can't seem to get them still…"

A great clang sounded from across the room, and Lily only smiled as James replied, "Sure," and reached over to help her.

When the potions had been finished and bottled, the cauldrons cleaned, and the supplies stored back in their proper locations, the class was free to leave. Lily bolted from the room, leaving behind James, as well as Mary and Roxanne. An eerily familiar voice called from behind her, but as she had for several months now, she pretended she could not hear.

* * *

><p>Edric was found near the back of the library, books spread before him and a look of deep concentration etched upon his face. Lily analyzed him closely on her approach. She wanted to talk to him, but did not want to disturb him if he was working well. He set down his quill violently, brought his hands to his normally neatly combed hair and tugged at it. His jaw was clenched and he ground his teeth together while emitting a low growl. Lily took it as an invitation to intervene.<p>

"What are you working on?" she asked as she sat down beside him. "Anything I can help with?" This was an off chance, of course, as the boy was a year ahead of her.

"Nah," he said, pushing aside his materials, "It's not important."

"So you're going to copy from Eliza later?"

"Yeah, that was the plan."

She chuckled. "So what's new with you?"

"Oh, you know. Thinking up training strategies, homework, making Eliza tutor me. Nothing exciting. But you, on the other hand…"

It startled her, "What on earth do you mean?"

"Well I saw you getting friendly with Potter earlier today…" He raised his eyebrows.

"Right, because sitting near someone and joining a conversation about Quidditch is extraordinarily friendly. Better call the presses," she rolled her eyes as she spoke.

"It's certainly a stretch by yesterday's standards."

"Well yesterday I wasn't friends with Potter. Today I am."

He stared at her, brows furrowed in concentration. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "What are you playing at?" he finally asked.

"Nothing," she said, almost immediately.

It did little to convince him. "You hate him."

She paused for a moment and took a deep breath, "It just makes more sense to be his friend than to hate him, you know?"

"No," his reply was sudden, "I mean, I guess it makes sense except for the fact that you've hated him since your first ride on the Hogwarts Express."

"Well, yes, but that was ages ago…"

"But yesterday it was recent?"

"But that's just the point, isn't it? He's not been so bad lately, so why hold a grudge?"

"He hexed Oliver Finch and Georgia Tait yesterday."

"Well he's not been so bad to _me_."

"Lily Evans, am I really hearing these words come out of your mouth?"

"Is it really that surprising?"

"Yes."

"But it's true."

"You're up to something."

Was it that obvious? Could everyone see through her façade as easily as Edric? It was a sudden change, she knew, and sure to puzzle people, but was it really suspicious? Edric was probably just teasing her.

"I'm not. I swear."

"You're definitely up to something. You can deny it all you'd like, but I'm going to figure out what it is."

"You can try but I assure you, there is nothing to figure out."

"What are we trying to figure out?" a third voice entered the conversation and startled Lily.

"This Charms assignment," Edric responded, "Lily's trying to help me, but we can't quite get it."

"Oh," James responded, "Well, if _Lily_ can't help you…"

"I'll just have to ask Eliza," Edric finished for him. James chuckled. "Have a seat," Edric offered. James pulled out a chair and sat with them.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Lily asked James, looking at him skeptically.

"Maat kicked me out," he responded simply.

"So, shouldn't you be in McGonagall's office or something?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Well McGonagall's in class at the moment, and there's no way professor Maat is actually going to remember to report it, so I'm pretty safe," he nodded.

"Right…" Lily nodded along with him.

"So," Edric interjected, "Big match coming up, eh, Potter?"

James smirked, "Best of the year."

"It's all we've been talking about in the Tower," Lily chimed.

"They've been trying to convince me the seeker's the most important player," James informed Edric with an eye roll.

"Seeker ends the game!" Lily exclaimed in defense.

"But that doesn't necessarily mean you win," Edric reminded her.

"But it certainly helps," Lily countered.

"But it really depends on how well the chasers score," James pointed out.

"And how well the keepers do their job," Edric added.

"But seekers control how long they have to score…"

"Which is a strategic ploy that _can_ be used but is not necessary this early in the season."

Edric nodded in agreement with James. Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Meg has deluded you," James said solemnly.

"I'm capable of making my own decisions, thank you," she was stern, but tried to keep her voice playful.

"Obviously," Edric muttered, "No matter how questionable those decisions may be." Lily narrowed her eyes in his direction.

"Speaking of questionable decisions," Lily began, "I've really got work to do so I think I'm going to find a quieter locale." She gathered her things amid strange looks from both the boys with her.

As she walked away she heard James whisper, "Has she been acting strangely lately? Or is it just me?"

"Oh no, definitely not just you."

"Odd. But it has been rather beneficial for me…"

She ignored the comments and continued her path.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand why everyone finds this so strange," Lily confided to Mary as they walked to Herbology together. They were huddled together under a clear plastic umbrella that Lily held over herself and her shorter friend. The Wellington boots both of them had donned squished as they made their way through the mud toward the green houses.<p>

"It's not _strange_," Mary specified, "It's more like _unexpected_."

Unexpected was okay. _She_ certainly hadn't expected it, "But it couldn't possibly be _that_ surprising."

"You loathed the boy right up until yesterday. It's a little surprising." Mary raised her eyebrows and nodded.

"I didn't loathe him," Lily tried to clarify. Mary shot her a questioning look. "I highly disliked him. I didn't _loathe_ him."

"Right," Mary replied sarcastically. "That's definitely true."

"Why does no one believe me?" Lily asked, "Even Edric thinks I'm up to something."

"Well…" Mary shrugged. Lily knit her brows together. "He might have a point."

"You're all rubbish mates."

"So it goes," Mary shrugged coolly. Unfortunately, the effect she had hoped for failed as her boots stuck to the mud and she slipped and fell on her bottom, splattering the two of them.

The two girls looked shocked for a moment, then Lily erupted in laughter. Mary tried to contain herself, but she too began laughing. "Yeah, I'm the rubbish friend." This only served to make Lily laugh harder.

"Come here," Lily smiled extending her arm to help her friend up. She took out her wand and cleaned the both of them satisfactorily. "I'll have you know that I am an excellent friend."

"But you pick the strangest ones…"

"Well no one's questioning _that,"_ Lily explained. "I mean, just look at _you_…"

* * *

><p>Much later that night Lily sat in the window watching the sky darken. It had stopped raining but remained cloudy all day. Now the clouds were tinged with orange and red, and the sky was ablaze. She was alone in the dormitory, the others having gone off to do homework or be social or something. She was glad to be alone; she was still in a good mood, but constant questions had worn her down a bit.<p>

The door burst open with a loud bang, and Meg came skipping through it, brown waves bouncing with her. She was dressed in her Quidditch uniform, her broom slung over her shoulder. "Bless your soul, Lily Evans!" She sang cheerfully as she made her way to the redhead in the window. She flung both of her arms around her friend, accidentally pulling her from the window, and held her tightly.

Lily regained her balance quickly. She was confused, but reciprocated the hug. "What did I do?" Lily asked.

Meg pulled away but held on to Lily's shoulders, "I don't even know but James was so happy he cut practice short and he even said he'd let me practice those moves and we could talk about using them in the match and he's never that happy so I'm sure it has something to do with you."

Lily laughed, "Well I'm glad _someone_ thinks this is a good thing!" She grinned at her friend.

"I think this is a bloody _brilliant_ thing," Meg corrected. She pulled Lily into another tight hug.

"Oh Meg," Lily sighed, "Please go take a shower."

Meg laughed and pulled away, "Okay," she smiled, and pranced off toward the bathroom.

When she had left, the smile faded from Lily's face. So James was happy. Really happy. That was good, wasn't it? Friends should want their friends to be happy. There was nothing wrong with him being happy. And shouldn't she be glad it's because of her? Friends should make their friends happy, right? James being happy was a good thing.

So why did it feel so bad?

* * *

><p>It ruminated in her throughout the night. A seed of doubt planted itself within her. It was wrong. She knew it was wrong. She tossed and turned in her bed. It wasn't fair to him. She was being unnecessarily cruel. It was wrong. She knew it was wrong. It plagued her through a fitful night's sleep, and by the time she woke the seed had grown roots and sprouted.<p>

She woke early, but did not rise. Instead, she lay in bed contemplating what needed to be done. She couldn't continue with this. She couldn't possibly. It was wrong. But how could she end it? Perhaps she should be just as heartless as she had been starting it. Tell Potter that she couldn't stand him, that she could never be his friend. It had been a mistake, but she knew better now. That would certainly be effective.

Or maybe she should be kinder. Tell him that she's sorry, but they're just too different to really be friends. But Potter wouldn't listen to that. He'd try his damnedest to change her mind about it, which could potentially improve her situation; James was not angry with her but Snape still suffered. No, no. That wouldn't work.

She could say nothing at all. But again, Potter wouldn't have that. He was not the kind to sit back and let that happen. A conversation of some sort was definitely necessary…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of one of her roommates rising and making her way to the bathroom. Lily glanced at her watch; it was barely six-thirty. The water began to run, white noise filled the dormitory. Lily rolled to her side. Perhaps a bit more sleep was in order.

She dozed off for a while longer, trying to avoid the thoughts that had plagued her throughout the night. It worked, for the most part, and she woke half an hour later feeling as though she had slept much longer. She sat on her bed, listening to the sound of her roommates getting ready. She still had no idea what to do, but knew it had to be done soon.

When she finally emerged from her four-poster, the dormitory was clear. Again, she would be the last to arrive at breakfast. She couldn't find it in herself to care. She took her time getting ready, gathered her things and made her way out the door.

There weren't many people in the corridors on Friday mornings during breakfast, so her path was mostly free. Occasionally she would pass a student returning to their dorm to retrieve a bag, or a ghost who nodded politely at her, but for the majority of the trip, she was alone.

On the stairs headed to the Entrance Hall, she found Edric, sitting near a railing reading over a parchment in his hand.

"Hello there," she said as she approached him.

He looked up from the paper and greeted her with a smile, "How are you today, Lily?"

"Oh, just fine," she said cheerfully. "What are you up to?"

"Trying to make sure this essay is up to snuff before I have to turn it in," Edric gestured to the scroll he was holding. "Eliza didn't have time to look it over for me."

"Gotcha," Lily replied. She turned to leave him, but stopped short. "Hey, Edric?" He looked back up from the parchment, "Thanks for going along with me yesterday, even though you were a bit suspicious."

He chuckled, "You're my best mate, I might think you're up to something, but that doesn't mean I won't help you."

She smiled at the Hufflepuff, "I know you would." He smiled and looked back down at his essay. She turned and made her way into the Great Hall.

As the last sixth year Gryffindor to arrive, Lily expected there would be only one seat left for her to take near her friends. Unfortunately, that seat happened to be right next to James. She had hoped to avoid him until she knew what to do, but circumstance demanded their immediate interaction.

"Hello, James," she said as she sat down.

He gave her a friendly nod as he swallowed his bite of toast. "Good morning, Lily," he said when his mouth was clear.

The roots from the sproutling squeezed at her heart. She should do it now. She should stop this now. As soon as possible, before this got any worse. She reached for a piece of toast and spread marmalade on it. Right after breakfast. Then she would do it. She took a bite as she made the decision.

"Did you know that recent studies have indicated Aconite might have an effect on lycanthropy?" James read the headline seemingly to the general public. However, everyone else was consumed with their own conversation and either did not hear him or ignored him.

"I did not," Lily responded.

James put his edition of _The Daily Prophet_ down on the table, "It's amazing isn't it?"

"Are they close to a cure yet?" She asked.

"Clos_er," _James responded.

"That's great!" Her smile was genuine. "Would you pass the bacon?"

He held the plate out to her as she served herself, "It could be a huge advancement in magical medicine," he said.

"No kidding," she agreed. She thanked him as he put the plate of bacon back down. "Who ever would have imagined…" Her eyes moved away from James and across the Hall.

Two beady black eyes stared at her, teeth clenched and knuckles white around his fork. He noticed her looking at him; Lily met his gaze just as fiercely. Slowly, he set down his fork, then broke his gaze and took a sip of pumpkin juice. It was very obvious to Lily that this was by no means a concession. He was testing her. He didn't believe she could ever be friends with Potter. He was waiting for her to finish it. Finish it and go back to him? Never. The weed in her chest had been ripped out with the roots. There was no longer a trace of doubt in her mind.

She turned back to look at the boy next to her, "What else does it say, James?" she said pleasantly. She was sure the other boy noticed her smile.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know if there are things that could be improved upon, or anything that isn't quite clear. I always enjoy feedback!<strong>

**(That was a nice way of saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. It makes my day.)**


	4. Gloom

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Sorry this took so long! I found it very hard to write, and then I spent ages editing it, trying to bring it up to where I wanted it. I'm pleased with the result. Big, big thanks to Ashley (astralsymphony) for reading this through and giving me feedback! It was very helpful :) On that note, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p>"Alright, alright, take your seats, everyone," Zimmermann shouted above the cacophony of chatting students. In a moment, they all complied, and Lily made her way to the table she shared with James.<p>

"Hello," she greeted in her approach.

"How are you on this fine day?" he asked, nodding his head in greeting.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, because it was not, in fact, a fine day (it had rained all morning with no sign of stopping), and Lily had just spoken to James over lunch. Had there been any time for her day to change? She was exactly the same as she had been a few minutes ago. "Perfectly lovely, thank you," she responded, "And yourself?"

"Excellent, thank you."

She forced out a smile and took her seat, leaned over and pulled out her supplies. She had hardly unscrewed the top of her bottle of ink before Zimmermann started talking again. Instead of the usual lecture, he began with an announcement: "Now that you've all mastered nonverbal spells, I've decided that instead of teaching you everything myself, I'm going to let you teach each other." Confused murmurs echoed throughout the room. "Well, I'm not going to completely slack off," he clarified, "That would be ridiculous." The class chuckled nervously and waited for him to explain. "I'm going to assign each of you a topic, and you'll work together and present it to the class," there was a collective look of skepticism, "I'll fill in the missing pieces."

A Hufflepuff girl raised her hand, and Zimmermann nodded to her, "Who will we be working with?"

He thought for a moment, before responding, "Whoever you're sitting next to. Works well that way, doesn't it?"

The majority of the class groaned, as the seats had been rearranged, and no one was sitting with someone of their choosing. James turned to look at her, "Good thing we're friends, eh?"

She nodded with a smile. This was really working out in her favor; she had an excuse to spend time with and talk to James, without going out of her way or having to talk about anything of consequence. It was the perfect situation.

Zimmermann explained the rest of the requirements for the assignment, then proceeded to assign the topics. They ranged from Inferi and other dark creatures, to defensive spells and protective charms, and finally, when he reached Lily and James: "The Patronus Charm."

Everyone wrote down the details necessary for their particular assignment. Because they were not due for several weeks, Zimmermann began a short lecture on the properties of protective spells. Twenty minutes later, when he had finished and dismissed his class, James turned to Lily. "Should we start this weekend?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, "If you're not too busy with the Quidditch match."

"Oh, that won't take too long."

She rolled her eyes playfully, "Whatever you say."

"No, you know, you're right," he told her as they walked through the corridor together, "I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I mean who knows how long the victory party will last?"

Lily laughed despite herself, "You're so sure of yourself?" she shook her head.

"Definitely," James responded, "There's no way we're going to lose."

"Hmmmm," Lily brought her hand to her chin, "Maybe I should put some money on it then…"

"A bet on Gryffindor sounds like easy money to me. I'd do it myself but you know, bloody rules and all that." He had his hands shoved in his pockets as he sauntered through the corridors.

"Well whoever said I would bet on Gryffindor?" She stopped walking and shook her head lightly.

"You wouldn't bet against your own house!" His eyebrows shot above his eyes and his jaw dropped.

"I wouldn't?" She took in his shocked expression and smiled, before beginning to walk again, leaving James gaping at her.

He jogged to catch up, "Your best friend is on the team!"

"She'd get over it." She did not look at James, and continued walking.

"It'd still be a pretty stupid thing to do."

"Why's that?" She looked at him curiously.

"Because you'd lose."

She laughed again and shook her head. "Alright, fine, I won't bet at all," she mock sighed. The pair had come as far as they could walk together, and as they approached the staircase James needed to take to get to Muggle Studies, Lily added, "And we can meet up on Sunday, unless you've got other work to do."

James grinned at her, before mounting the staircase, "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

><p>"So, interesting project Zimmermann's assigned, huh?" Mary asked. Lily sat across a table filled with open books and parchment covered with notes.<p>

"Very," Lily replied, not looking up from her work.

"You're not worried about it at all?" Mary questioned.

"Of course I'm worried. It's worth a good portion of our grade." She continued writing.

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm aware. I was ignoring you." She looked up a fact in her textbook, and quickly copied it down.

"You're not worried about working with Potter even a little?"

Lily finally met Mary's gaze, "Of course not. We're friends now."

"And it won't even be a _little_ awkward?" Mary was leaning forward intently.

"I doubt it." Lily was working again.

"Even though you only talk about Quidditch?"

"We don't only talk about Quidditch!" Lily put her quill down. Mary narrowed her eyes. "Okay, fine, we only talk about Quidditch, so maybe this project is a good thing. You know, it'll give us something else to talk about."

"Or fight about," she cocked her head to the side.

"We don't fight anymore," Lily shook her head.

"I heard you fighting not an hour ago," Mary scolded.

"That was a friendly disagreement. We were joking."

"Whatever you say Lily."

Lily rolled her eyes and went back to her work. Mary smirked and began working on the essay she had been avoiding. The pair worked silently for a few moments, until they were interrupted by a small third year boy carrying a package wrapped in brown paper.

"Er, Mary?" The boy addressed her, and she looked up at him. Lily too, looked up from her work to find Meg's little brother standing at their table.

"Yes Herm?"

"This just came for Meg. I guess Zeus couldn't find her, so he brought it to me. I have class though, so can you give it to her?"

"Of course we can!" Mary responded. Lily smiled at the boy as he turned and left.

Lily looked casually over the package. She noticed that there was a small hole in the side: not a tear, but a flaw in the wrapping. "Do you think he opened that?" she asked.

Mary grinned, "Probably. There's always candy in these things, Herm can't resist."

Lily let out a laugh, "How does Meg put up with it?"

"Oh, she doesn't, but I just love the little guy."

"Isn't he like thirteen?"

"Doesn't matter. I've known him since he was eight. He'll always be little to me," Mary said fondly.

Lily laughed again, then glanced down at her watch. "It's almost time for Transfiguration," she said, "Should we run this up to the dorm for Meg?" she asked, gesturing to the package.

"Yes," Mary said, "I'll do it," she scooped it up quickly.

"Where is Meg anyway?" Lily called as Mary made her way to the stairs.

"Quidditch Pitch!" Mary hollered back. She stopped on the stairs, "She wanted a bit more practice before Saturday. I think she'll be down there every chance she gets," she said before heading up to the dorm.

Hmmm, extra practice. Lily wondered what exactly Meg was practicing, and what James thought of it. He was allowing Meg to practice the special moves she had learned over the summer, so it wasn't as though she was going behind his back. Maybe she was hoping that if she got them down perfectly enough James would definitely let her use them during the game? Maybe she was just nervous.

Lily packed up her things, and began putting Mary's supplies in order to save time when she arrived. It took a few moments for Mary to arrive, and when she did she had something in her mouth that she was chewing forcefully. She began packing her things, while Lily looked at her suspiciously. "What?" Mary asked as she put her possessions in her bag.

"Did you take candy from Meg's package?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well I took one for you too," Mary said. She held her hand out to Lily, who took the candy gladly.

"Thank you, dear," she said happily, as she unwrapped the candy and popped it in her mouth.

"Of course," Mary replied. The pair then walked toward the portrait hole, and made their way to Transfiguration.

* * *

><p>Midway through the week, Lily once again found herself sitting in the library across from Edric and Eliza. Both of the seventh years were working diligently on a Charms project that Lily could just barely understand, while Lily herself was working halfheartedly on a Potions assignment.<p>

It had been a trying week for Lily. She had never expected any sort of reaction to her plan, and definitely did not foresee her roommates caring at all, let alone as much as they did. There were very few conversations she took part in that did not eventually turn to her newfound friendship with James Potter. The suspicious looks and accusatory interrogations had subsided some, but they were still present and Lily was annoyed with them. Perhaps if she had known it would happen, she could have prepared, but it had all happened so suddenly. Lily supposed there was definitely a good reason she had dropped Divination.

"Do you need any help, Lily?" Eliza asked. It broke Lily from her reverie, and she noticed she had stopped writing altogether.

"No, no," Lily responded, "I'm fine. Just a bit distracted."

"No change from the usual then," was the retort from Eliza.

Edric, who had done a very good job of ignoring them and continuing his work, chuckled at them, and looked up to join the conversation. "No Eliza," he countered, "You've got it all wrong. That wasn't her daydream face. That was the deep thought face."

"Oh, right, how could I have been so silly?" Eliza's arms were up in surrender. "I know nothing of Lily Evans's facial expressions."

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head, but could not stop a small smile from playing at her lips. "And that's the annoyed-but-still-thinks-it's-funny face," Edric informed Eliza.

"I'm getting quite the education today. And all because of Lily's deep thought. Pray tell, what was it?"

Lily chuckled, "Nothing! Edric has steered you wrong. That was my I-don't-want-to-do-homework face."

"Don't lie," Edric scolded, "I am a master of Lily faces, and that was definitely a deep thought face."

Lily rolled her eyes, "You think you're so clever…"

"No I don't. I think a lot of myself, but I certainly don't claim to be clever."

Eliza couldn't help but laugh at Edric's joke. Her lips spread wide in a grin that was slightly too large for her face. Edric returned her grin; Lily glared at her. Eliza looked at Lily guiltily, but Edric caught Eliza's brown eyes and winked at her, and she started giggling again.

"So really, what's up, Lily?" Edric asked.

"Oh, you know, roommate stuff."

"I thought you were friends with all of your roommates?" Eliza asked.

"Oh, I am, they just get on my nerves sometimes because we spend so much time together," she really did like all of her roommates, and she knew she was lucky to have them; there were many people, like Eliza, who spent a great deal of time avoiding or arguing with their roommates. Lily didn't. She loved her roommates, but lately… "This week they've just been spectacularly irritating."

"How so?"

"Well they just won't let the whole," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "_Potter_ thing go. It's like they can't even fathom the idea."

"Well, it is a little strange," Eliza reminded her.

"I'm aware," Lily snapped. She softened immediately, and hoped that Eliza took it as an apology.

"Listen," Eliza said quietly, "You're going to the Quidditch match this weekend, right?"

"Well yes, I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Sit with us," Edric offered, "We'll even support Gryffindor for you. Though I can't promise much cheering, I _do_ have to study the plays of both teams."

Lily chuckled softly, "All right," she conceded, "But I won't be quiet. I will scream and break your concentration while you're writing," she warned.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Edric laughed. He and Eliza both grinned at their redheaded friend.

* * *

><p>Lily entered the Common Room approximately thirty seconds before curfew went into effect. She had had to hurry, and as such was slightly flushed and breathing heavily. She walked across the room slowly, taking time to catch her breath, but not outright stopping on her way to the dorm. Potter and Black sat at a table in her path, and she couldn't help but overhear them on her way.<p>

"…You know that right?" Sirius whispered passionately.

"Of course I do," James responded, "I just don't give a bloody-"

"Hullo there, Evans," Sirius shouted at her. James turned in his chair to greet her with a friendly wave.

She couldn't ignore it as she would have liked, so she approached with a small smile on her face, "Hello, boys." She glanced at the scrolls spread in front of them, and ventured a guess, "Homework?"

"Quidditch," James corrected almost immediately. "Sirius agrees with you," he continued, "Thinks Slytherin will win for sure on Saturday."

"We're bloody doomed," Sirius agreed.

"Shame, Black," Lily said, her voice taking on a playful tone, "I thought for sure I could make a bet against Gryffindor with _you_."

"Usually you could," Sirius explained, "But Prongs here is just being daft. He seems to think that his team has enough _heart_ to win, but he's not thinking logically. Obviously Slytherin will be using some sort of trickery."

"Heart is important though!" James countered.

"Not as important as logic!"

"I have used logic and I figure we'll still be able to beat them."

"What logic is _that_?"

Lily watched the bickering boys between her with wide eyes.

"The logic that my team is fantastic!"

"Because that's worked so well for you in the past," Sirius deadpanned.

"It's different this year! They lost some key players! The whole dynamic is changed!"

"Well," Lily finally spoke again, "I guess we'll see on Saturday, won't we?" Both the boys looked at her, "But for now, I've got to head to bed, stimulating as this conversation is… Have a good night, you two, and stop fighting, yeah? You sound a bit like you're married."

"Night, Lily," James responded as she turned to leave them. Sirius remained silent.

Lily hurried away from the table and up the spiral staircase to her dorm, taking the stairs two at a time. When she finally arrived she shrugged off the bag that had weighed heavy her shoulder and bumped against her hip all day and released a loud sigh.

"Rough day?" Mary asked from her bed. She lay on her stomach, propped up by her elbows, looking up from the book she had been reading before.

"Nah," Lily replied, "Just tiring."

"The weather doesn't really help, does it? All this gloom just makes me want to take a nap."

"Me too," Lily said with a smile. She glanced down at her watch, and refrained from asking where the others were. It was early, despite the curfew and though she had not seen them in the Common Room, she was sure they were down there studying or socializing, or some other thing Lily was too exhausted to do. "Finish your homework already?" She asked Mary.

"Yup," Mary responded, "Ages ago. And frankly I'd rather spend my time with Anne Elliot than anyone downstairs."

Lily couldn't help but laugh. "How is she then?"

"Well, she's miserable at the moment, but I suspect she'll come around soon enough…" she trailed off as she began reading once more.

Lily chuckled again and made her way to the bathroom for a shower. She took her time, letting the warm water run over her body and release the muscles that had knotted throughout the day. When she had deemed herself clean and relaxed (well after her fingers had pruned), she sadly turned off the faucet and wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel. She threw on a pair of pajamas, toweled off her hair and pulled it into a braid down her back.

She reentered the dorm a few moments later to find that Mary had pulled the curtains shut around her and the three remaining residents of the dorm were nearly ready for bed as well. Stella and Roxanne hurried into the bathroom as soon as she left to wash off their makeup, leaving Meg to finish tidying her trunk and putting away her Quidditch gear.

"How's the team look?" Lily whispered to her.

"Excellent," Meg responded, "James has definitely cracked the whip. I don't think the Gryffindor team has ever been better."

"Oh?"

"Yeah! I'm sure we'll beat the snot out of Slytherin."

"Why all the extra practice then?"

"I'm just practicing what James won't allow in the match. I'm hoping if I get very good he'll allow them."

"Oh," said Lily softly, "I'm sure he will."

"I'm not. He takes Quidditch very seriously."

"Yeah," Lily shrugged, "He does."

* * *

><p>As all mornings seemed to Lily, the morning of the Quidditch match dawned much too early. She groaned as her alarm clock sounded, stretched out and turned it off before rolling out of bed. As usual, Lily was the last one awake; Meg and Mary were both already up and dressed, Roxanne was laying out possible outfits and Stella was in the shower. She yawned and stretched her arms again.<p>

"Are you going to the match today, Lily?" Roxanne asked.

"Mmhmm," Lily responded as she rose from her bed.

"Will you sit with us?" Mary inquired.

Lily shook her head in response. She had located her hairbrush and begun yanking it through her red locks. "I've promised Edric and Eliza I'd go with them," she explained.

"But you're supporting Gryffindor!" Meg was adamant.

"Of course I'm supporting Gryffindor."

"I heard a rumor you were betting against us."

Lily rolled her eyes, "It was a joke!" she laughed, "I wouldn't _really_ bet against my own house. If I wanted to give my money away I'd pick a charity."

"I expect you to be entirely in red and gold."

"I wouldn't dream of anything else."

Meg laughed, "Good," she said as she made her way to the door, "I'm off to breakfast, see you after the match!" she called. She threw the door open and skipped down the stairs, full of the nervous energy she always had before a Quidditch match.

"Good luck!" Lily and Roxanne called at once.

"I don't need it!" Meg replied from halfway down the staircase.

The room erupted in laughter. Mary finished pining back her hair and turned to the other girls in the room, "Lily, if you're not sitting with us during the match, will you at least eat breakfast with us?"

"Of course, Mary," Lily had finished brushing her hair and was now digging through her trunk looking for acceptable clothes to wear. "Give me ten minutes."

"Ten minutes until what?" Stella asked as she entered the room in a cloud of hot steam. "It can't be time for the match already?"

"Breakfast," Lily answered and she moved past Stella and into the bathroom, "You can join us if you'd like!"

She was quick in the bathroom: slight makeup, hair up, teeth cleaned thoroughly. When she was finished, she dressed herself and went to join Mary in the dorm. Roxanne had dressed and was now chatting with Mary while Stella hurried to finish getting ready.

"Do you really think they'll win today?" Roxanne asked.

"Oh yes," Lily responded, "They've got heart."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean? Roxanne cocked a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"I dunno," Lily shrugged, "That they're more dedicated or something. I, er, heard it somewhere."

"Oh," thankfully, Roxanne did not have time to continue the conversation.

"Ready!" Stella called as she finally emerged from the bathroom. "Shall we go?"

* * *

><p>"Aaaaaand ROSE!" Norman Stanley, the Quidditch commentator yelled into his megaphone. Meg followed her teammates into the air as Lily, and the crowd around her screamed their encouragement.<p>

The sound died down slightly as the players finished their lap around the pitch and into position, only to rise up again as Madame Hooch blew the whistle and threw the Quaffle into play.

James dove immediately to it, scooping it up before the Slytherin chasers had even a shadow of a chance. He pushed forward, toward the goal posts, dodging Bludgers and Slytherin chasers, until he reached the goal posts, threw it toward the right post and the Slytherin keeper blocked it.

Lily rolled her eyes, "That's what happens when you don't pass the Quaffle…"

"Were you expecting anything less?" Eliza giggled.

"Oh, certainly not."

Next to them, Edric was scribbling furiously in a notebook, hardly looking at what he was writing as to not miss a moment of the match. "Oh no," he said, "I don't think-"

"AND GRYFFINDOR CAPTURES THE QUAFFLE!"

Eliza and Lily snapped back to attention, and sure enough, Suzette Copper had wrestled the Quaffle from Slytherin and was headed back down the pitch, Slytherin hot on her tail. It wasn't long before Henry Davis had pulled up ahead of her, and she was able to pass it on to him. His path toward the goal posts was certainly aided by Benjy, who shot Bludgers as close to the Slytherins chasing him as possible without hitting his team mate. James soon appeared by Henry's side, and the two passed the Quaffle between them, growing farther apart, and closer to the goal posts on either end. They continued this, keeping the Quaffle away from the Slytherin chasers behind them, and causing their keeper to hover at the center post, ready at any moment to dive to either side. As they approached scoring range, James held the Quaffle, readied his arm to throw, and as the Slytherin dove to the right, he released the ball, and Suzette appeared in the center, grabbed the Quaffle and shoved it through the center post.

"GRYFFINDOR SCORES!"

Lily screamed in joy, before realizing what this development entailed. "Oh Merlin," she whispered, "They really are going to win, aren't they?"

Eliza patted her on the back. "Now, I'm sure Potter won't be too terrible…"

"And really," Edric said, "You never know…"

Alas, she _did_ know. Slytherin put up a good fight- er, well, a fight anyway, but to no avail. They did not even have time to get up to their usual tricks, though their beaters certainly tried. Meg captured the Snitch (using one of the maneuvers she had put so much effort into) with Gryffindor fifty points ahead, leaving Gryffindor with a win at two hundred and twenty points to twenty.

"I am never going to live this down," Lily sighed, cradling her head in her hands. After a deep breath, she joined the flood of students leaving their seats. Edric and Eliza turned away from the pitch, but as she was a Gryffindor, it was expected of Lily to meet her team on the center of the pitch.

She pushed her way through the crowd, and it wasn't long before she noticed the top of Roxanne's head peeking out above the crowd. She moved toward it, and just as she had expected, she found Stella, Mary and Meg standing with her.

"Congratulations, Meg!" She yelled as she approached, "Excellent work!"

"Thanks, Lily!" Meg pulled her in close, "Really, James never would have let me do that if he weren't showing off for you…"

Lily pulled back and rolled her eyes, "Really? Bollocks. He's really nev-"

"Evans!" She recognized Potter's voice even at a distance. She turned to see him pushing toward her, grin plastered on his face. "Enjoy the match?"

"Very much," she responded when he had made his way to their group, "It was very exciting." There was a smile on her face, but it showed no excitement, only the slightly condescending joy one might show a child who had accomplished an old feat for the thousandth time. "Congratulations."

"How much money did you lose?" He asked, arms crossed against his chest, but a smile on his face.

"None!" she exclaimed.

"No one would take it?" He chuckled.

"I didn't _look_," she explained, "I wouldn't actually bet against my own house." Her eyebrows were raised and she looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"I knew you were smarter than that," he grinned. "See you at the victory party?"

"For a few minutes," she said, "But I do have a project to work on…" a smile played at her lips.

"You're going to do that tonight," James said, raising his eyebrows, "Really?"

"Oh yes," she responded, "The sooner the better. I just hope my partner's not too busy."

"You know, I think he might be."

"You might be right," her face was solemn, "I heard he had some dumb party to go to."

"Hey, maybe he worked really hard today and deserves a little party time."

"Nah."

James laughed, "But shouldn't we celebrate our victories?" Lily pretended to think. "Otherwise what's the point of trying again?" Lily didn't take it. "And," James continued, "This is a really great excuse for you to take a break," Lily smiled, "Because you _obviously_ can't work on the project if your partner's not there."

"So maybe my partner should be there…"

"No."

Lily laughed. "Okay," she sighed, "I _guess_ we can wait until tomorrow." She smiled as she walked away.

* * *

><p>AN: There you have it! Please, please review and tell me what you think! Also, I've had some problems with formatting as I upload the chapters. What's happening, is that Microsoft Office tracks the changes I make during editing, and then when I go to upload, all of the changes show up. So you end up reading as though I didn't delete what I had changed. That shouldn't be an issue here, but if it is, please let me know!<p>

Thank you!


	5. The Start of the Snow

**AN: Thanks to the lovelies, Ashley, Leesa, Stefanie and Beth who read all or parts of this over for me! Also to Bridge, for telling me what Billy looks like. And drawing him! :)** **On the subject of Billy, don't worry too much about him. He won't be around too long. At least, not the way he is now. If that makes sense. **

* * *

><p>"The Patronus Charm is an ancient charm used to ward off Dark creatures. It has been used for all of living memory for protection against Dementors, but more recently other uses have been discovered, such as protection against Lethifolds, as discovered by Flavius Belby in seventeen eighty-two," Lily read aloud from the textbook in front of her.<p>

"Well, that's rubbish," James replied, "Is that all it says?"

"About the history," she responded. "There's more specifics about how it works and how to conjure one, but nothing about how it was created."

"Bollocks. How are we supposed present an accurate history when there isn't an accurate history recorded?"

"I don't think he cares that much, really," she said, not looking up from her book. "It's not as though the history is of any use to us, and we're supposed to be learning about protective charms, so I think we need to focus on how they can protect us."

James silently assented, and copied the information down dutifully. "Have you figured out how it works yet?"

"Not quite," she finally raised her eyes to him, "It says it acts as a shield of positive energy, but then it's talking about corporeal forms and I'm not sure how it all fits together," her brows were furrowed in concentration.

"They turn into animals," he said, "So, I think the animal form serves to protect you, but it doesn't always take that form. Sometimes it's a more generic shield form."

She nodded, "But what determines what form it takes?"

He thought for a moment before admitting, "I'm not sure," and reaching for a book to look it up.

It was surprisingly not awful, working with James. He didn't slack off, as she thought he might, and was quite knowledgeable. It was easy working with him, because he made it less work. And he wasn't being as much of a prick as usual. At least there was that.

"It's not in here," he said. "I'll go look for something else."

"Don't worry about it," she sighed, "We've been working for a while. Let's call it a night, yeah?"

"Let's just finish this part," he responded. "It won't take long."

"Alright," she sat up straight and stretched out her back, "Shall we divide and conquer?"

"What's the point of that?"

"Cover more ground; find the information faster, something like that."

"But all the books are in the same place."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "True, let's have a look together, then."

"Sure," he said. He rose from his seat and reached out his hand to help her up. She flirted with the idea of ignoring it, but figured that might be construed as rude, and well, she couldn't have him thinking _that_. Reluctantly, she took it and allowed herself to be helped up.

They walked over to the stacks, James trailing a bit behind Lily, and began scanning for a title to help them. "Take that side," she nodded at him, "I'll get this one."

They scanned in silence for a while, occasionally pausing to open a book and flip through the pages. Soon though, James began chuckling softly to himself. "What?" Lily asked.

"Some of these titles are completely ridiculous," he said.

"Like?"

He put on a deep, dramatic voice, "_The Dark and the Dangerous: Creatures You Should Know and Avoid." _

Lily chuckled, "So are you supposed to know them or avoid them?"

"Both, apparently."

She chuckled again and continued her search.

"_Secrets of the Dark_," James read aloud.

Lily had to cover her mouth with her hand in order to keep from laughing too loudly. "Who comes up with these titles?" she asked, looking at him and grinning.

He shrugged, shaking his head and trying to contain his laughter. He pulled the ridiculous title from the shelf and flipped it open. After a few moments of scanning, he looked up at her, "Ridiculously named, but quite helpful. 'The form a Patronus takes is based upon spatial limitations. Smaller areas allow only a shield to develop, while larger areas allow a full corporeal form. Corporeal forms are more powerful, and generally more desirable, however shield forms should not be underestimated.'"

"Wonderful," she said, still grinning. "_Secret of the Dark _no more!"

He put the book back on the shelf, and together they walked back to the table to gather their things.

* * *

><p>"Oh, <em>there<em> you are," Lily sighed to Edric and Eliza as she approached their seat in the courtyard. They sat next to each other on a bench, bundled in cloaks and scarves, but obviously enjoying the final sunny day of autumn. The warmth had left several weeks ago, despite the sun's remaining presence. "I've been looking. No homework?"

"It's N.E.W.T year," Eliza responded, "We _always_ have homework."

"I dragged her out here," Edric admitted, "I can't resist the sun."

Lily laughed, "Some things never change." She stood for a moment, deciding where best to sit. After a moment of contemplation, she figured that right where she was certainly worked well enough, and sat right there on the ground. Her legs stuck straight out in front of her, her arms supported her as she leaned back on them. The ground was cold, and it crept up even through her heavy cloak.

"Want a chair?" Eliza asked, watching her in amusement. "You could join us on the bench you know."

"But then I couldn't see you. Triangles work best for conversations of three."

"She makes a fair point, Eliza," Edric nodded very seriously.

"I'll make you a chair then. So you don't have to sit on the ground."

"But I'm already on the ground."

Eliza rolled her eyes as Edric burst into laughter and Lily grinned. "Suit yourself then."

"I'm suited." She noticed that Eliza's lips twitched upward at the corners.

"So, Lily," Edric said, "What brings you to us?"

"Boredom."

"New friend's too busy to hang out with you?" Edric's eyes narrowed at her.

"Oh Merlin," Lily groaned, "It feels like I spend every waking moment with my new friend."

"Trouble in paradise?" Eliza smirked.

"Well, I wouldn't call it paradise, but there's no trouble," she carefully measured out each word as she spoke it. She wasn't _exactly_ lying. Everything was going well, as far as her plan was concerned, but spending time with James was proving tiring.

"So it's safe to say that there's nothing else going on?" Edric asked.

"Yes," Lily said, a little too quickly.

Edric stared at her for a moment, "Well then, you know Billy Fitz, right?"

She released a breath, "Of course I do. He's in my year. You're mates with him, aren't you?"

"I sure am," Edric informed her, "Which means he's a pretty decent bloke. I'm a good judge of character."

"Oh. Okay," Lily's eyes were furrowed together.

"He's asked Edric to put in a good word with you," Eliza said shortly.

"'Decent bloke' is a good word," Lily mused, "Tell him to ask me to the next Hogsmeade trip. I'll think it over until then, but I don't make any promises. I did just get out of a relationship, after all."

"Will do," Edric said. Eliza was clearly exasperated. Her eyes rolled and her teeth were clenched tightly. "So, now I have a bit of a favor to ask of you…"

Lily braced herself, "What?"

"Stella has been looking _lovely_ lately…" Lily thought Eliza's eyes might bulge out of her head.

"No," Lily responded.

"That's it? Just 'no?'"

"Yes."

"So you'll do it then?"

"No."

"Well that's rude of you."

"Yes."

"So-"

"Oh just s_top_," Eliza interrupted, "I'm going back inside." And without another word, Eliza stood and walked away.

"What's got into her?" Edric asked.

Lily rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>Quills. Ink. Parchment. Notes. Lily ticked the supplies off on her fingers as she placed them in the bag. She scanned over her desk and bed, looking for anything else she might need for her meeting with James. Her eyes fell upon her textbook and she decided against it. Most of the information they gathered came from other sources, and it was rather heavy. The alarm clock on her night stand informed her that she was running late. It wasn't too surprising, considering the conversation she had just had with Mary. It wasn't intended to last more than a moment or two, but had gotten a little out of hand. She sighed lightly, threw her bag on her shoulder and began the trek to the library. Anything forgotten could be summoned later.<p>

The final classes of the day had just been released and the corridors were swarming with students. She walked quickly, dodging students in her path. With quite a lot of maneuvering, she was able to make it down the corridor at a rather amazing pace. She turned the corner into another hall, which was slightly less crowded than the last. A glance at her watch told her that she could very well make it on time, if she kept the pace up.

Another turn put her in yet another corridor filled with students making their way back to their common rooms, all of them moving in the opposite direction of Lily. As if a fish swimming upstream, she moved around them on her way. About three quarters of the way up the corridor, she noticed a young student frantically trying to gather the supplies that had fallen out of his broken bag.

Lily knelt on the ground, gathering bits of parchment and quills that had spilled on the ground around them, before they could be trampled by passing students. A bottle of ink had shattered, leaving a growing puddle and shards of glass around them. Leaving the parchment and quills in a small pile in front of the child, she repaired the bottle and did her best to siphon the ink back into it. What she could not manage, she vanished.

"Well," she said, looking for the first time at the boy in front of her, "I'm afraid you might need a new bottle of ink," she smiled. "Would you like me to fix your bag for you?"

"Thank you," he said, tossing the bag in her direction, as he finished gathering the books and pages of notes surrounding him.

She fixed the seam easily and added a strengthening charm for good measure. "That should do it," she said, "Anything else I can help you with?" She handed the bag back to him, and began to stand up, dusting off her skirt as she did so.

He shoved everything back in his bag, and rose as well, "No, no," he finally looked up at her. His grateful tone disappeared as he noticed the colors of her tie. "No, not at all," he said sourly. "Not from you, anyway," without another word, he pushed past her and ran off.

"Slytherins," Lily muttered, before she rolled her eyes and continued on her way.

It wasn't much farther to the library, but nonetheless, she was late. When she entered, she immediately found James sitting at a table, books spread in front of him. He waved as he noticed her, and she forced a smile as she approached. "Sorry I'm late," she said, setting down her things, "I got a bit caught up."

"No problem," he said, "I've just been here long enough to set up a bit."

"Find anything you think will be helpful?" she sat down and began pulling out her notes and spare bits of parchment.

"Oh yes," he said, "We have _Secrets of the Dark,_ and _Divine Defenses, _as well as _Deconstructing the Darkness_."

"Ooooh," she giggled, "Those do sound extremely helpful."

"I thought so," he nodded. "Alright so, which one shall we start with?"

She paused in thought for a moment, "I feel like learning some more secrets of the dark, myself."

"Then I'll learn some divine defenses," he grabbed two of the books, handed one to Lily and cracked the other open himself.

Lily flipped to the chapter on Patronuses and began to read. They both worked quietly for a few moments, intently looking for anything that might help them. Lily skimmed over the first few bits, mostly of history and the like, until she came across a helpful passage, "Here's something," she said. James looked up from his own work, and Lily read, "'The Patronus Charm acts as a shield of positive energy for dark creatures to feed off of, rather than the producer of the Charm. It channels the wizard's happiest memories into a tangible form that repels Dementors and other Dark creatures.'"

James scribbled it down. "That's excellent," he said, "Do you think there's any more detail about it?"

"Not that I've found in here," she replied, "But I'm sure there's more out there somewhere."

They delved back into their respective textbooks, Lily skimmed over the rest of the chapter she was reading, saw no pertinent information, and grabbed the remaining textbook from the table. She had hardly begun flipping through it when James said, "I've found something."

Lily looked up at him.

"'The Patronus Charm is produced with the happiest memories of the witch or wizard conjuring it. The memories must be allowed to completely consume the conjurer, or the spell will not be effective. The happier the memory, the more powerful the charm will be. Because it is produced by the most intimate memories a person has, the shield becomes a physical representation of the inner-self.'"

Lily looked at him, one eyebrow cocked, "It does not say that."

"Yes it does!" he laughed. "It also says, 'It is the truest form of the soul.'"

"Oh, bollocks," Lily said, "Who writes these things?!"

After a bit more flipping through pages and skimming text, it was fairly obvious they were not going to find any more useful information in the books they had. James had all but given up, and was flipping through the textbook, occasionally laughing at something he saw. Something in particular struck his funny bone, and he let out a chuckle loud enough for the librarian to shoot them a warning glance.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," James smiled.

Lily leaned over and read the section he was looking at. "'A spell to repel harmless attacks?' When is an attack ever harmless?"

"When it's something simple, like splitting someone's bag open," he said, still chuckling, "It'd certainly be a useful spell to teach the first years."

Her mind flew immediately to the young boy in the hallway. Of course. How could she not have realized earlier that his bag had been split magically? And oh, that _prick! _She was furious. Her lips were pressed together tightly and she very nearly began screaming at him.

But she couldn't. They were friends now, and screaming at someone was not a very good way to keep their friendship. She needed to keep it. Everything had gone too far now to go back. But she could not sit next to him for another moment.

"Yeah," Lily said, frowning. She glanced at her watch but did not register the time, "Say, don't you have Quidditch practice soon? You should probably head down there. I'll take care of the books."

"You don't have to-"

"It's fine," she snapped. She gathered the books and left the table before James had another chance to object.

* * *

><p>Lily returned to her dorm after class to find Roxanne sitting on her bed, filing her nails. "Hello, Lily," Roxanne said, looking up from her hands, "How was class?"<p>

"It was fine," she said, "Are you ready for lunch?"

"Yeah," she set the file down on her night stand. "Shall we go?"

Lily set down her bag, and the witches headed back down the spiral staircase. "So, where is everyone else?" Lily asked.

"Meg is practicing, as usual," Lily nodded, "I think Mary went with her, and Stella is meeting with a tutor, I think."

"For what?"

"Flirting."

Lily laughed, "Who with?"

"I'm not sure. She wouldn't say. Probably just another fling of hers, you know…" Lily looked at her quizzically and Roxanne continued, "One we would make her think better of."

"Oh," Lily responded, "Yes."

"But if she's not telling us about him, then I'm not too worried. She couldn't be taking it too seriously."

"No, probably not," Lily thought the lack of introduction might have more to do with Roxanne's judgment, but she refrained from voicing it.

They entered the Great Hall and immediately sat near the end of their table. "So," Roxanne began as she served herself a small salad and a bit of chicken, "Any interesting developments in your life recently?"

Lily swallowed the bite of rice she had taken earlier. "Erm, apparently Billy Fitz fancies me."

"Does he now? Did he ask you to Hogsmeade?"

"Not yet, Edric was told to put in a good word," she took a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Ah," Roxanne began to cut the chicken into smaller pieces, "And how did you respond?"

"Positively. He's a nice enough chap, right?"

"I'd say so, yes," Roxanne took a drink, "And, you know, Lily, he's really not bad looking."

Lily giggled, "No, he's not bad looking at all."

Roxanne let out a dramatic sigh, "Oh, Lily! He's perfect for you! He's nice, and funny, and does well in his classes and plays Quidditch and he's Muggle born too, isn't he? and oh! He's coming over!"

"What!?" Lily began to swing around, but Roxanne kicked her in the shin.

"Act natural," she whispered harshly, "You don't want him to know we were talking about him."

Lily bent over as best she could to rub her leg, "That _hurt_! I think I'm going to have a bru-"

"Hullo, there," a new, deeper voice joined the conversation.

"Hello," Roxanne greeted.

"Hey, Billy," Lily did her best to sit up without drawing attention to herself, or the fact that she had been bent over in the first place.

It failed. "Are you alright?" Billy asked, eyebrows strung together in curiosity.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she gestured for him to sit.

He brought one slightly too long leg over the bench and brought the other to his chest to do the same. "How are you doing today?" he asked.

"Pretty well," Lily responded, "How about yourself?"

"I'm not too bad," he said, "Edric had us out at an ungodly hour this morning, so I'm a bit tired, but other than that I'm splendid."

Lily winced, "He does that. Big fan of the morning. I think he's mad, personally."

"As does the majority of the Quidditch team."

Lily laughed. "Does he throw some ridiculous excuse at you too?"

"Yes!" Billy was laughing as well. He put on a voice to mimic Edric's, "'We have to prevent spies if we want the best advantage!'" He returned to his normal inflection, "He's bloody paranoid."

Lily giggled at the completely accurate description of her best mate. When she calmed herself, both of their grins remained, but the conversation seemed to have left. Roxanne had pulled out a copy of _The Daily Prophet_, and Billy, sensing an oncoming awkward silence asked, "Anything interesting?"

"Not really," Roxanne said, "Boring political stuff," she rolled her eyes, "It seems all anyone does these days is complain."

"What are they complaining about?" Billy asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Jobs or something. Money, the usual," she waved a hand to shrug it off.

"You don't think jobs are important?"

She seemed to think for a moment, "Well, I suppose they are. But no one's ever happy about them, are they? There aren't enough of them, or there aren't enough people to work in them or these jobs aren't good enough and these people want different jobs, and it's all rather tiring, don't you think?"

"No," Billy and Lily responded in unison.

"It's really important," Lily said, "It kind of determines our entire lives."

"And it's usually about so much more than just jobs," Billy added, he took the paper from her and skimmed over the article, "See, Muggle borns being denied jobs. That's not about the _jobs_ it's the motive behind it. They're talking about a much bigger problem than just jobs."

"Oh," Roxanne said. "Well then, I see how you find it so interesting."

"Yeah," Billy snapped. "I think I'd better head to class. Lovely talking to you, ladies. I'll see you later, Lily."

"Bye, Billy," Lily offered.

Roxanne followed him with her eyes until he was well out of ear shot. "I've changed my mind," she said.

"How so?"

"I don't think you'd be good together at all. His nose is much too large."

* * *

><p>Lily walked through the drafty corridors toward the library, pausing occasionally at the windows she passed. The temperature had cooled significantly, and the first snow of the season had begun to make its way to the ground. The sun was gradually becoming shy, it stayed out for less and less time every day, and it usually hid behind clouds, leaving a sky of bright white. She shivered and wrapped her sweater more tightly around her torso.<p>

Upon entering the library, Lily was greeted by an altogether strange sight. Edric and James Potter sitting together at the same table. She stood utterly confused for a few moments, before realizing that she should be glad her friends were getting along well enough to sit together of their own accord, and put a smile on her face to approach them.

"What are you two up to?" She greeted them.

"No good," James responded.

Lily rolled her eyes. She hoped it was playfully.

"James and I were just having a rather titillating conversation," Edric chuckled.

"Lovely," she said. "Were you just talking or can I join in with some school work?"

"Well, we're not going to stop you from working, but it'd put quite the damper on the party here," Edric grinned at her.

"Good," Lily said, taking a seat, "There's no telling what you would get up to without me here to bore you." She pulled out her supplies and spread them carefully in front of her. "I mean, you were already up to nothing good, I can only imagine the terror you would unleash upon the world."

"Hey," Edric objected, "I would only be along for the ride, I'll have you know. I have no malicious intentions."

"It's true," James added, shrugging, "I'm a terrible influence. I just drag people under."

Lily laughed, "Is that what I'm getting into then?"

"I thought you knew."

"I did," she nodded, "But I'm fairly certain I'm safe from your influence."

"How's that?"

"I'm immune to it, obviously. Otherwise you'd have pulled me under ages ago."

"Fair point."

It fell silent for just a moment, until Edric asked, "So, Lily have you spoken with Billy yet?"

"Billy?" James asked, "Fitz?"

Edric nodded, "Fancies her."

"Yeah, I have," Lily said, "He stopped by at lunch yesterday."

"And…"

"Well, _we_ got along fine. It didn't go so well with Roxanne."

"I can see that happening," Edric said. "Luckily, he fancies you and not Roxanne, eh?"

"Very lucky," James said.

"He didn't ask me to Hogsmeade," Lily said, "I thought he might. He wasn't put off by her, was he?"

"No," Edric laughed, "He said he was going to talk to you a bit more before asking. He said it seemed less strange that way."

Lily laughed. "Alright then."

"Does he know you know that he wants to ask you?" James asked.

Lily turned to Edric, who responded, "No. No, he thinks he's doing this completely naturally."

"But it's good I know," Lily added, "Because otherwise I'd find it really strange."

"Alright then."

"And," Edric put on a wicked grin, "What about Stella?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Stella Hadley?" James asked. "She is quite fit isn't she?"

Edric nodded and winked at him.

"None of that!" Lily said, "I will not help you seduce my friend, Edric."

Edric rolled his eyes and looked down at his watch, "Oh, bollocks, I've got Quidditch practice," he said, "I'll talk to you later." He quickly packed up the books he hadn't used and very nearly ran out of the library.

Lily and James watched in amusement as he dodged students and made a three hundred and sixty degree turn to avoid someone carrying a stack of books piled above her head. When he had left the room, and they both and stopped laughing, James turned to her, "So, you two get along really well."

"He is my best friend," Lily said, "And has been for six years now."

"That'll do it," he nodded.

Lily began reading over the text she had brought with but only got a few sentences in before James interrupted her, "Are you really going to date Billy?" he asked, "I mean, didn't you just get out of a relationship?"

She looked up slowly, "I'm going to go on _a_ date with him. I'm not agreeing to marry the bloke. Just get to know him a bit better. And he hasn't even asked yet, so that might not even happen. As for Oliver, well, that relationship was over long before we broke up, so I don't see it being too much of a problem."

"Oh, okay then."

She gave him a small smile and returned to her reading. It seemed that James had too until he once again interrupted her, "Are you cross with me?"

"I'm a little annoyed that you won't let me read in peace," she said.

"But other than that?"

"No," she said.

"Really? Because you seemed cross the last time we worked on our project. You were fine when you came in and angry when you left."

"I wasn't!" she said, "I was just having a difficult day. I'm _not_ cross with you," she said. "What reason do I have to be cross with you?"

"I dunno," he replied, "That's why I asked."

"I'm not cross."

"Okay," he stayed silent for a moment, "But we are friends, right?"

"Yes, James, we're friends," she sighed.

"You know friends can be cross with each other and still be friends, right?"

"I'm not cross with you."

"Just in case it happens in the future."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," he said, "I've got to run; can we meet this weekend to work on the project?"

"Yeah, whenever you're free."

"I'll see you later, Lily."

"Goodbye, James."

Later that night, Lily sat on the windowsill, watching the snow dance its way to the ground. A strong gust rattled the panes of glass, and made Lily wrap a blanket tightly around her. She wished she had a cup of tea to sip as she watched the winter settle in.

She let out a weary sigh and leaned her head against the cool glass. What had she gotten herself into? How could she possibly have been so delusional to think that she could ever be friends with James Potter? It had been hard enough to talk to him in class when it was necessary, and now she had to pretend to enjoy it. And how was she meant to do that when he acted as though he was some god brought down from the Heavens? He was devoid of compassion, born without a heart or any semblance of feelings at all. The world was his domain and he had control of anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck in it. She had been pulled into it now as well.

And she had thought that it was going well! Obviously his head was enormous and his overly friendly demeanor irked her to no end, but he had at least seemed human at first. He had been helpful and even nice to her and didn't make extraordinarily rude jokes around her, but then he thought it was okay to hex people because it was fun, or his twisted sense of judgment said they deserved it. How was she meant to tolerate that? To pretend that she was okay with it when every fiber of her being was against it? Why did she ever think this was a good idea? Obviously she had gone completely mental for a moment.

But there was no going back now.

She took a deep breath and left her seat, moving instead to the warm bed that awaited her. She wrapped herself snugly in blankets, embraced the lingering heat of the bed warmer, and she settled in for the long winter ahead of her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always, please, please, please review! They make me super happy, help me improve my writing, and as trite as it sounds, really do inspire me to keep writing (and update faster!). :)<strong>

**Also, to clarify the first author's note, don't worry too much about Billy. He won't last too long with Lily, and you definitely won't see any like gross coupley things from them because I can't write Lily with anyone but James.**

**I did give up editing this after like, the seventh time I read it through, so if I've missed any typos or weird grammar things, please let me know. There will not be any super strange ones like in the last few, BECAUSE I FIXED IT YAY. ALSO I FIXED ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS YAY! DID YOU SEE!? Okay, I think that's all. **

**Have a great day!**


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